The SNL Sportsplex

Dear Readers and "SNL" fans,

The goal of "The SNL Sportsplex" is to compile a virtual handbook of every significant sports-related sketch in the history of NBC's "Saturday Night Live."

This page will be the home base -- the Studio 8-H if you will -- that archives the ground I've covered so far. Any time you want to see the latest updates to the "SNL Sportsplex," click on this blog's category called "The SNL Sportsplex".

Why an SNL Sportsplex? For decades, the show has been famous for launching Hollywood comedy careers, for skewering politics, and for giving a soundcheck for the biggest names in music. But rare is the episode were you can't find a sports reference. (Heck, even the night when Pamela Anderson hosted they made time to put on a "NASCAR Pamela Lee Invitational" sketch!)

For starters, here is a list I found of every "SNL" host who hails from the world of sports.

My 'SNL' baseball analogy: I started regularly watching "Saturday Night Live" around 1982 or '83 when I was in second or third grade (I specifically remember my fourth-grade teacher telling me I shouldn't stay up that late the one time I told her I dug the show).

SNL alumnus Billy Crystal grimaces stretching out before the All Star Legends & Celebrity softball game at Yankee Stadium in New York, Sunday, July 13, 2008. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)

I guess you can say I've followed "SNL" the same way a baseball fan follows his favorite team. I remember the glory years, the all-star line-ups, the instant classic highlight reel clips. I also remember the down years, the players who just couldn't hack the spotlight, and the boneheaded moves by management (anytime you feel depressed about how your career is going, check out how David Letterman tried to cheer up my hero Norm MacDonald on the heels of his "Weekend Update" demotion).

So even though "SNL" hasn't been worthy of appointment TV at 11:30 p.m. Saturdays for me in quite a number of years , the YouTube and Hulu era has ushered in the ideal way to watch their comedy that is worth busting gut over.

Final note: There will be hundreds of sketches to catalog. If I've listed a favorite of yours, or you know of one Ive overlooked, send me a line.

Best,

Gregory Hardy
Sports Guesspert

THE SNL SPORTSPLEX CATEGORIES

KEY: HU= Hulu.com video clip; YT= YouTube video clip; LOD= Laugh or Die video clip

FOOTBALL VS. BASEBALL:

[] The George Carlin classic. The very first bit in the very first opening monologue in 'SNL' history was George Carlin's battle of America's two sports pastimes. (HU)

BASEBALL:

[] Harry Caray: Sharp as a Whisker. Thanks to Will Ferrell, the Cubs broadcaster lives on.

[] The George F. Will Sports Machine. Piffle or not piffle? (HU)

[] Is Willie Randolph still managing the Mets? The team's skipper and general manager seem to be at a loss for words. (HU)

[] Chevy Chase/Yankees World Series Cold opening. Look who's hanging out in the clubhouse. (HU)

[] Sammy Sosa's historic home run ball. Dominican Lou has a memorabilia deal for you! (HU)

[] The Wave at a Braves game. Jeff Goldblum means it when he says, "Now would be a perfect time to start a new wave, and I'm the only one here who can sense that." (HU)

[] Dane Cook 2007 MLB playoff promo parodies. Because some celebrities go with playoff baseball like hockey pucks go with barbecue sauce. I have no idea what that's supposed to mean. (HU)

FOOTBALL:

[] Fran Tarkenton leads the way. The legendary Vikings quarterback is the first sports figure to host an episode of "Saturday Night Live." (HU)

[] Peyton Manning, King of the World. Peyton sure has cheered up since he won a Super Bowl. (HU)

[] Here's Tom Brady; accept no substitutes. Brady runs into trouble with some QB lookalikes backstage. (HU)

[] "Monday Night Football" tomfoolery. A lampoon of the Al Michaels-Dan Fouts-Dennis Miller era in the broadcast booth (with sideline reporting by Eric Dickerson and the over-qualified Melissa Stark) ... and Chris Farley proves that Bocephus needs love too.

[] Tailgating with Da SuperFans. Live, at Super Bowl XXVI, in which the Buffalo Bills may or may not have played Da Bears. (YT)

[] Really, Michael Vick? Seth and Amy have a few pointed questions. (HU)

[] Plax, Plax, Bang, Bang Keenan Thompson glues a fake beard to his chin in honor of the Plaxico Burress incident. (HU)

PRO BASKETBALL:

[] Lebronologue. Will the real LeBron James please stand up? (HU)

[] Singin' Shaq. A little lullabye for Will Ferrell. (LOD)

[] Spaking Shaq. Even the Big Commedian needs to make curfew.

[] Come back, MJ! Even a benefit rock song couldn't stop Jordan from dabbling in baseball. (YT)

[] MJ meets Da SuperFans. Fans of Da Bears cheer for Da Bulls too. Ditka! (HU)

STEROIDS:

[] The All-Drug Olympics. "That's got to be disapointing to the big Russian!" (HU)

[] Bonds defends himself on SportsCenter. What steroids? (HU)

OLYMPICS:

[] Olympic Spirit, Lost in Translation. John Belushi finds out that Olga Korbut (Gilda Radner) has a few choice words. (HU)

[] Food is Fuel for Belushi. So that's how he got in such good shape for the 1980 Games -- little chocolate donuts. (HU)

[] Strug siblings get carried away. Meet Kerri -- and Kippy. (HU, YT)

GOLF:

[] Tiger Woods + Krazy Glue = Golf History. On a very special "A&E Biography."

SWIMMING:

[] Synchronized Swimming. "Lawrence and I are going to pursue a dream that we have, and that basically synchronized swimming is going to be our lives for the rest of this century."

[] Swimming Instructor. If anyone tries to teach you how to get in the water like John C. Reilly's Doug Frangelo does, contact your local authorities IMMEDIATELY. (HU)

TENNIS:

[] Tennis, any arm? Tom Hanks stops by the country club, plus or minus a few limbs. (HU)

HIGH SCHOOL CHESS:

[] Meet coach Donald Ramp. "You call that castling?!  Come on!  Why don't you just give him the king?!"

BOXING:

[] Ken Norton Sings the Blues. Garrett Morris is a knockout with the vocals. (HU)

WRESTLING:

[] Ric Flair vs. El Nino. Who would win? The answer is blowing in the wind.

EXERCISE AND FITNESS:

[] Mr. Bill Gets in Shape. Feeling doughy? Bring in Sluggo LaLaine! (YT)

[] How much ya bench? The almost-but-not-quite SNL career of Jay Mohr.

[] Lance Armstrong is no Ironman. Running? That sounds ungodly.  (HU)

FAKE COMMERCIALS:

[] Bad Idea Jeans. Because when's the next time you're going to be in Haiti? (HU)

[] NBA Finals commercial face time. What works for the NBA postseason works for the Democratic party. (HU)

[] Peyton Manning, Public Service Menace. Meatloaf, anyone? Promise you won't snitch. The United Way and car ads take a hit here. (HU)

RECURRING CHARACTERS:

[] Joe Piscopo, Weekend Update sports anchor. Perhaps the most ahead-of-its-time character in SNL history. (YT)

[] Hans and Franz. Pumping you up, now and forever. (HU)

[] The Spartan Cheerleaders. Love 'em or hate 'em, they were in a lot of sketches. (HU)

My All-Time Top 10 SNL Sports Sketches:

Perhaps some day we'll have a 64-clip field that we can sort through with interactive bracket voting. But for now, here's my list:

10. "Profiles in Sports: Donald Ramp, High School Chess Coach." The role Jim Belushi was born to play.

9. Peyton Manning United Way commercial. "Alright, I'll *kill* a snitch! I'm not saying I have, I'm not saying I haven't. You know what I mean."

8. Da Super Fans. Pick any one you want. Ditka!

7. Joe Piscopo Interviews Muhammad Ali/Cassius Clay. Before and after, a striking difference.

6. Waikiki Hockey. Who knew Wayne Gretzky could sing and water ski?

5. Tom Brady Office Training Video. TV Funhouse provides the tighty-whities.

4. Space: The Infinite Frontier with Harry Caray. "That's why my friends call me Whiskers!"

3. Synchronized Swimmers. "This is like a mirror between you, and then he goes this way, and then let's say you were to point at each other. You're doing the same thing, aren't you? No, you're not angry at him. ... No, you're just pointing at him. 'Hey, you!  I know you!  I know you!'"

2. Stuart Smalley helps His Airness. "Today we have a guest ... and his name is Michael J. -- I'll protect your anonymity."

1. The All-Drug Olympics. "Getting ready to lift now is Sergei Akmudov of the Soviet Union. His trainer has told me that he's taken anabolic steroids, novocaine, Nyquil, Darvon, and some sort of fish paralyzer. Also, I believe he's had a few cocktails within the last hour or so. All of this is, of course, perfectly legal  at the All-Drug Olympics. In fact it's encouraged."

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RESOURCES:
[] Saturday Night Live Transcripts
[] The SNL Archives
[] Hulu.com's Saturday Night Live video clips
[] Amazon.com's most popular Saturday Night Live DVDs
[] NBC's official SNL home page

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SHAMELESS PLUGS:

[] In the wake of Billy Crystal taking a Spring Training swing for the New York Yankees, here is my list of "The All-'Saturday Night Live' Baseball Team", appeared on CBSSports.com's SPiN on Sports .

[] Here is a "Guesspert" column I wrote in anticipation of Peyton Manning hosting "SNL" ... turns out my estimation of what his monologue would contain was not too far off from the topics he touched on.